The Price of Tznius

I attended my school's Chanukah Concert this December, but I’m not sure I will be going back next year. Why? Mainly because I find concerts somewhat boring (at least for girls – no dancing in mixed crowds), but another important factor in my decision was how the seating was arranged. I wasn't planning on going to the concert until I found out that there would be some separate seating for men and women. This pleased me. Finally, the frummies were being catered to! I had heard from friends who attended mixed concerts about the type of behavior that goes on between boys and girls in such situations, and wanted to situate myself far from the hefkeirus that might occur. No "scenes" for me.

Unfortunately, there were only about seven rows that were actually designated for women only. And those seats were at the very front of the theater, and cost $25-$30: there were no $18 women-only seats. This meant that I HAD to spend more money in order to sit in the separate area. How vexing! I felt that I was being asked to choose between my wallet and my convictions. Was I willing to spend extra money so I could sit in a place where I didn’t feel like my tznius was being compromised? The answer, of course, was yes. Sitting in close proximity to boys at a concert was a no-no. I would feel constrained with boys near me, because I wouldn't be able to "dance" in my seat, which would definitely inhibit my enjoyment of the music.

However, shortly into the concert, two boys, probably not realizing that this was the women-only section, sat in the row behind me. No one said anything to them, even though there were numerous members of the concert staff milling around nearby. (Actually, I found this distracting. Boys and girls, ostensibly working for the concert, kept running up and down the aisle doing who-knows-what. Another reason not to sit in the front of the theater.) This offended me – I spent extra money so that I wouldn’t have to sit near boys, and here some boys plonked themselves down behind me and no one was doing anything about it! I whispered this to my friend sitting next to me, and she advised me to ignore the boys behind us, since there wasn’t anything I could do about it. That just made me madder. Did that mean that if I complained to one of the concert staff, he or she wouldn’t be sensitive to my needs? (OK, this is an unfair assumption. Maybe someone would have listened and acted on what I said.)

Luckily, before I really reached boiling point, an usher asked the boys sitting behind us to move, since it was the women-only section. Finally! I thought. Woo-hoo! Good-bye, boyses! I was able to sit through the rest of the concert without being bothered again. But this experience made me rethink attending a similar concert, should the seating be allotted the same way. Why couldn’t there have been some $18 seats also designated as separate seating? Why were my friends and I forced to spend more money so we could enjoy the evening in a tzniusdik manner? And why was it not made obvious right away to the boys who sat behind me and my friends that they were sitting in the wrong row?

Inauguration

Today I officially entered the world of blogging. A momentous occasion. Break out the Jamocha Almond Fudge! I'm a blogger! Seriously speaking, though, this whole blogging thing is a tremendous responsibility, considering that anyone in the whole wide world can read what I've written, so I will try to be very careful about avoiding lashon hara and the like.

I'm taking my first baby steps, so slowly slowly. We'll see where it goes.